tuzi

Has it occurred to anyone else that the best way to not lose ahandbag to a snatch thief is to not tote one?

HOW, ah, asked a friend, can we prevent snatch thefts?

I had a simple answer but, in getting to the point, I couldnt helpthinking about the two occasions when I witnessed a snatched theftin progress. And both times, I tried chasing the thieves down, butmore on that later.

I believe that handbag theft gets a disproportionate amount ofcoverage in the press. On average, about 10,000 handbag snatchesare reported to the police in a year (the statistic Im looking atsays 9,551 cases in 2006).

This may sound like a lot of wayward accessories, but the figurepales in comparison with non-vehicle thefts (over 35,000) and theftof motorcycles (around 65,000).

Yet, snatch thefts get a lot of attention because they areperceived as personal crimes against women, and it affects themiddle-class as much as the poor.

There have also been a few serious injuries to the victims, some ofwhich led to death.

I feel that the spotlight on this particular crime overshadows moreserious problems, such as rape for example. Call me insensitive,but I dont see how the loss of a few sticks of lipstick cancompare to a violent and violative crime.

Nevertheless, it was the question asked of me, and I did have somefirst-hand experience, so I looked up the statistics quoted above.

The most obvious solution would be to increase the police presencein public areas. However, although Im sure the sight of ourwell-trained, well-equipped boys in charcoal blue would strike fearinto the most daring pillion-riding Fagins, I would like to thinkthat they have more serious crimes to prevent and solve.

How about specially designed handbags? These bags are made so thestrap tears off easily. Now, between building something that isstrong and secure, and one that falls apart at the merest touch, Iknow what my manly brain would go for.

But the objective of the snatch-able bag is to preserve the safetyof the woman by giving up all their personal goods easily.

If youre going to do this, I say, you might as well paperclip yourcash on the shoulder with a sign that says Free Money, take whatyou want.

(Well, I must admit that if I were running a company that madethese handbags, it makes good business sense to have a product thatcustomers need to keep buying frequently rather than one that lastsa lifetime.)

(Actually, such an anti-snatch handbag already exists. Launchedin January 2006, its called the Giossardi safety handbag which hasa strap that detaches at both ends when violently tugged. And iteven comes with an insurance policy. The bag is listed as the FirstSafety Handbag in Malaysia in the Malaysia Book of Records.Unfortunately, there was no follow-up to find out on itspopularity.  Editor)

There is, of course, the obvious solution I came up with: dontcarry a handbag. Dont be a target. Stop looking like a likelyvictim. Without something to snatch, you will no longer be a victimof snatch theft.

But where will I put my wallet? Well, for one, carry a smallerpurse. One that doesnt require two hands to open, for example.

Youd think that we still lived in an era of ducats and dinars,what with the mini-sacks girls bring around to carry their money.

Because if the purses were smaller, then you could use these thingscalled pockets. Its like a bag, but sewn into the fabric of yourclothes. Then, you wouldnt have to carry your bag, and your handswould be free.

What about my lipstick/mascara/eye shadow/moisturiser/blackheadremoving sandpaper ... I hear you cry.

Listen, if Man figured out a way to compress all of the worldsknowledge into a chip made of sand measuring a mere one micronthick, then making a smaller powder applicator cant be beyond hisreach.

But pockets dont look nice ...

Aha! And, here, we come to the crux of the problem. I found outthat all arguments with women as to the practicality of pocketsended up at this point.

Nobody wants to wear a skirt or a low-cut pair of jeans if therewere things in pockets around the waist area. Itll make me lookfat!

I really have no answer to this rapier-like logic. Indeed, it willmake you look larger around the bum.

So what? Shouldnt we be in enlightened times? Isnt it time thatwe look beyond and beneath the bulging pockets and skin, and seethe person inside?

So what if you look like a an overweight ground hog storing up forwinter? Shouldnt now be the time that we treated women as equals,and not just on the fairness of their skin?

We need to admit this one point, that handbags are a vanity itemfor women. Its not strictly necessary for them to carry one aroundand, if they think they are at risk from thieves, then they shouldnot carry them.

The fact that they do proves that women and men still havetraditional roles to play, when the weak need to be protected fromthe bullies.

I do get upset when I see it happen, though. Of the two times Iwitnessed a theft, once I caught up with the guy and asked him,nicely, to give the purse back. The other time they were on amotorcycle and I gave up when my lungs were about to burst (afterabout 10 seconds of hard running).

So, maybe, the answer is this, ladies. Forget the idea of beingindependent and accept that your vanity is a sign you are a lady inthe most traditional sense.

Get a nice, polite gentleman who is willing to escort you as youmake your way about town on foot. And make sure hes fit enough forthe job.

Logic is the antithesis of emotion butmathematician-turned-scriptwriter Dzof Azmis theory is that peopleneed both to make sense of lifes vagaries and contradictions. .